Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
