i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
