we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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