Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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