end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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