I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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