Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
