Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
