3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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