I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
