I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
