You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
