i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
