quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
