somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
