i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
