now i know why i became what i already was.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize