marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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