hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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