It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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