I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
