He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Oh god it's open bar.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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