Apparently you make a good broom.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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