I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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