I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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