reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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