My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
