Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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