Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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