The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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