Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
kristin has been a bad kristin
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
