If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
we should paint friendship bongs
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