My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
