so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
