My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
