She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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