Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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