Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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