There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
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If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
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Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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