i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
