how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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