Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
