honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
