$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
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the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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