Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
