...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
