omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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