You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
