i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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