I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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