im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
