I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
