apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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