He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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