Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
