I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize