somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize