My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
