Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
