mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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