What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
