every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
