I just made out with a guy for $7.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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