I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
